TRIGGER WARNING: This newsletter contains references to and information on rape, sexual assault and sexual abuse. Please use discretion when reading.
When 17-year-old Ain Husniza posted a TikTok calling out a teacher at her school (neither of whom she named) for making jokes about rape, the immediate backlash was stomach-churning and rage-inducing in almost equal measure.
The comments posted on various social media platforms trying to discredit Ain and attempting to distract from the issue at hand by pointing out her appearance, her decision not to wear a tudung, suggesting her articulation meant she is a “trained” political tool - and perhaps worst of all, accusing her of being “too sensitive” about the jokes made about rape.
Women, especially teenage girls, are consistently told we’re “too sensitive” to the crude, offensive and downright wrong “jokes” men make at our expense. We’re dismissed, told to “learn how to take a joke” and “jangan la macam tu” when the “jokes” are made to belittle our dignity, insult our intelligence and cut down our confidence to that we remain subordinate. So that we remain quiet.
When Ain started the #MakeSchoolASaferPlace campaign, I knew I had to keep tabs on it. Her campaign isn’t new, but it is the most vocal of its kind Malaysia has had in years and something that is hugely important. I thought, maybe, just maybe, we can have the right response to this.
God, how wrong I was.
From the uproar from rape apologists on social media, to the deafening silence from those who call themselves our “leaders”, so much of the response to a campaign to address rape culture in Malaysian schools has been upsetting and disappointing. That’s not to say I didn’t expect this - but I had hoped for better. It was a pipe dream.
I can only imagine how Ain feels now, having been threatened with expulsion from school and being attacked from all sides by people who only want to keep living in ignorance that this is a problem. And this is a problem.
So, for every one of our readers who has seen or heard someone say “it’s just a joke”, we’re writing this little guide for you to send to them. It might not change their minds, but here’s to hoping, eh?
Rape is Assault
The act of rape is widely defined as a form of sexual assault initiated by one or more people against another person without the latter’s consent. It is a criminal offense under common law - which applies a third of the world’s population, including Malaysia.
In Malaysia, rape is defined as sexual intercourse with a woman against her will or without her consent. Sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of 16, with or without her consent, is considered statutory rape.
Unfortunately, the law does not recognise that men can also be victims of rape and women cannot be charged for rape - however, they can be charged with sexual assault.
Rape is Violence
If you wouldn’t condone violence, then you shouldn’t condone rape. Rape is described as a “silent, violent epidemic”, in which the perpetrator uses sex as a weapon to intimidate and control their victim(s).
Sexual assault victims often sustain injuries consistent with being forced upon, including both external and internal injuries around the genitals, bruising, scratches or cuts from struggling or being restrained.
But don’t fall into the trap of thinking that only people who have been attacked physically are victims of rape. People who are coerced into sex they do not want by perpetrators who are in a position of authority or use a victim’s trust to prey on them.
Rape Ruins Lives
Rape apologists and sympathisers often jump to the defence of alleged perpetrators, and like to say that accusations of rape will ruin their futures. But what about the lives of the victims? Let’s take a *very* brief look at what happens in the long-term to victims of rape.
According to the World Health Organisation, the rates of depression, anxiety disorders, unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections and HIV are higher in women who have experienced violence compared to women who have not.
These women also experience many other health problems that can last even after the violence has ended, and can also affect future generations. It also means that the cycle of violence is more likely to continue if children bear witness to violence against their mothers.
“Intimate partner violence against women also affects their children, starting with low weight at birth as well as child health and development problems,” says a 2018 inter-agency report on prevalence estimates of violence against women.
“Furthermore, children exposed to violence against their mothers are more likely to experience or perpetrate partner violence in later life, thus sustaining a vicious cycle of violence against women.”
Rape and Sexual Assault in Numbers
Here’s a little breakdown of global figures on the issue, according to the most recent research by UN Women.
Globally, nearly one in three (around 736 million) women have been subjected to intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence or both at least once in their lives.
Of those who have been in a relationship, almost one in four teenage girls aged 15 to 19 (24 per cent) have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner or husband.
By September 2020, 52 countries had integrated prevention and response to violence against women and girls into COVID-19 response plans, and 121 countries had adopted measures to strengthen services for women survivors of violence during the global crisis.
Globally, 6 per cent of women report they have been subjected to sexual violence from someone other than their husband or partner. This figure is believed to be much higher due to stigma, which leads to underreporting.
15 million adolescent girls worldwide, aged 15 to 19 years, have experienced forced sex. Based on data from 30 countries, only one per cent have ever sought professional help.
At this point, if you still need more reasons about why you shouldn’t make jokes about rape, I’m at a loss. If someone still insists on making jokes despite learning of the seriousness of the crime and the sheer volume of damage the act does to victims’ lives… I’m inclined to say they are a lost cause.
How can we implore for people to be more compassionate and to value others - especially women? How can we convince them that to joke about rape is to belittle someone’s trauma? That every time they say “It’s just a joke, don’t take it so seriously”, they are saying “It’s fine to laugh about someone’s life being ruined”?
To people who think it’s just a joke, is that really what you think? You think that this act of extreme physical violence - so violent that the perpetrator forces a part of their own body into another’s - is… fine? It’s not a big deal, it’s even… funny?
If it’s funny, I don’t get it. Millions of women who are victimised every single day don’t get it. Millions who live with the trauma of having been on the receiving end of the violence don’t get it. Millions who have been exploited and killed don’t get it.
Explain yourselves to the person who sent you this newsletter. I’d like to see you try.
Xxx,
Kate